


Let Him Go

by yaoiboy116



Category: Derek Hale - Fandom, Gay - Fandom, Love - Fandom, Sterek - Fandom, Stiles Stilinski - Fandom, Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gay, Heartbreak, Hurt Derek, M/M, MalexMale, Romance, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-02-11
Packaged: 2018-01-08 21:50:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,504
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1137778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yaoiboy116/pseuds/yaoiboy116
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Derek hale relives some of the highlights of his life with one Stiles Stilinski…and tries to survive the pain.</p><p>(Passenger based song fic)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Well you only need the light when it's burning low...

Well you only need the light when it’s burning low…

_Derek paced restlessly around his dark loft, the rain pounding on the roof and slapping against the glass of his windows the only sound. The power had been out for an hour and every flash of light, paired with the boom of thunder caused him to tense and lose control for brief periods of time. His ice blue eyes distressed as he struggled with the irrational fear he held towards thunder…_

“Derek! Derek!” Derek Hale’s eyes snapped open and he blinked in confusion. “Hey man, were you listening? We were talking about how weird it is that we haven’t battled any bloodthirsty alphas, witches, ferbies…”

Derek blinked again, “Ferbies, really Stiles?”

“What? There’ve been hunters, kanima’s, alphas….Ferbies are evil, have you ever seen one? They’re probably like weeping angels. Y’know, they look harmless, if a bit creepy, little toys. But the minute you blink or look away they’re coming to get you” Stiles said heatedly.

Derek rolled his eyes in exasperation, “go home Stiles.” Stiles shrugged and hopped into the blue monstrosity that was his jeep. Derek, likewise, got into his sleek, flashy black vehicle. He was almost home when his instincts prompted him to turn the radio on. Through a slight haze of static the news reporter came through, “…Sheriff’s son was in a dreadful car accident just a half hour ago. Emergency response teams were on the scene quickly and he has been rushed to the local hospital. However the doctors have not yet announced his condition….” The static changed and a new voice, the weather reporter replaced the news that really mattered…

_Derek had moved to sit in the middle of his bed, far away from the windows. Every roar of the thunder still sent anxiety through him. His door opened suddenly and he jumped up, getting into a defensive position. Stiles grinned cheekily at him, “hey sourwolf. Mind if I stay the night?” Derek relaxed and nodded. Stiles lay in bed with him, holding his hand comfortingly through the storm._

_“I love you” Derek had breathed to his boyfriend._


	2. Only Miss the Sun when it starts to Snow

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow…_

Derek stormed into his loft in a foul mood. He and Stiles had just fought and he had nearly wolfed out. That lack of control had shocked him and succeeded in making him even angrier. After only a few minutes he realized that his mood wouldn’t improve if he was cooped up inside. Derek pulled on his leather jacket and shoes and headed back out.

Stiles walked along the streets of Beacon Hills thinking, quietly for once, about what he and Derek had accused each other of. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he bumped into someone and would have fallen except a strong arm shot out and caught him easily. Stiles looked up to see Derek’s piercing eyes staring at him, “Hi…” he said.

“Hi…” Derek replied tersely.

“Ok, look, we both said some stupid stuff. I didn’t really mean what I said…well, fine I meant some of it but I shouldn’t have said it, or at least…not the way I did. But look, we’re both human – sort of – and people make mistakes and I really like you…like a lot so I don’t want to break up. But if you want to break up – “ Derek cut off Stiles rant by crashing his lips into Stiles’. When he pulled back he smirked at Stiles’ expression, “I love you.”

Stiles smiled than, “I love you too sourwolf.” Something cold and wet hit his nose and he looked towards the sky, “It’s snowing” he remarked.

An hour later Stiles was back at Derek’s loft and in his bed and very, very naked. Derek hovered at his hips and was currently sucking the life out of Stiles through his cock. He sucked the length of him in, hollowing out his cheeks to create a delicious suction. Stiles was moaning loudly, hips jerking desperately while he enjoyed the sweet, sweet torture. He only lasted a moment more before his entire body tensed and he orgasmed with Derek’s name on his lips.

Later that night they were snuggled up under a blanket on the couch Stiles had forced Derek to buy. They each had a hot chocolate in hand and were watching Star Wars on Stiles’ laptop.

_Derek stood with a hot chocolate now in a crowded waiting room. He was staring out at the rain while the tv in the corner of the room predicted a snowfall the following day._

_Only miss the sun when it starts to snow…_


	3. Only Know you Love him when you Let him Go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Added smut finally :)  
> first time writing it on something I was actually posting soooo….hope you enjoy.

Only know you love him when you let him go...

 

Derek stood, leaning on the door jamb while Stiles zoomed around his room haphazardly throwing clothes and assorted belongings into a suitcase and a couple of boxes. "ohmygod! Where are my batman boxers?" He asked in a panicky tone.

"Stiles."

"Derek you don't understand! I cannot go off to school without my batman boxers! Those are my lucky boxers!"

"Stiles."

"Ohmygod! I know I had them, I washed them last night ohmygod Der!"

"You're wearing them Stiles."

"What?" Stiles stared at Derek for a beat. He undid his jeans and tugged them out a bit so he could see, "oh...okay," he took a deep breath and did his pants back up, "thanks." Derek rolled his eyes and pulled Stiles' clothes out of his suitcase. He began folding them neatly and placing them back into the suitcase. Stiles watched him for a moment and then stepped up to help him.

Two boxes of pizza and a couple hours later Stiles was standing in his mostly empty room. His desk was empty, his dresser was empty. Only his bed still had sheets and pillows. Those were staying there because he had bought new sheets to take with him.

Derek walked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Stiles' waist. He pressed warm lips against the pulse point in his neck, "you're leaving tomorrow morning," he murmured against his skin.

"Yeah, bright and early."

"I want you." Derek continued in a guttural growl.

"Yeah, okay, sounds good." Stiles was already pulling away from Derek so he could take off his clothes. His shirt was off in the blink of an eye as were his pants. He kicked off his socks and Derek took over by shoving Stiles back onto his bed and reverantly removed the infamous batman boxers. He captured Stiles lips before the hyperactive teen could start running his mouth as he usually did. Derek skillfully undressed himself without breaking the bruising kiss for more than a few seconds. He mouthed down Stiles' neck to his hardened nipples. He sucked and flicked his tongue over both equally, enjoying the mewls of pleasure that escaped Stiles' lips.

Derek got to his hardened and straining cock after what seemed like "forever" to Stiles. He dragged his tongue up the underside listening to Stiles' gasps and hoarsely whispered "oh god." He repeated the action, scraping his teeth up gently.

Stiles shuddered and his hips jerked as spikes of pleasure danced through his body. "F-Fuck Der!" he groaned, hands gripping the sheets beneath him. A cry burst from his lips when Derek sucked his full length into the warmth of his mouth with no warning. Stiles squeezed his eyes shut and moaned loudly as Derek sucked him thoroughly. He felt the sharp canines of Derek's teeth scrape his oversensitized cock and his orgasm shot through him. Derek swallowed everything he offered before lubing his own straining cock and easing his full length into Stiles' tight heat.

Derek had tried prepping Stiles properly once but the teen had practically impaled himself on Derek in his impatience.

Stiles whimpered in pleasure as Derek filled him. His recently spent cock twitched and came into full erect position rather quickly. Derek started thrusting slowly, pushing in and dragging out to bring delicious friction to their bodies. His eyes glowed blue as his pleasure increased. Derek watching Stiles moan and writhe beneath him. It was Derek's favourite view and he swore he could come just by watching Stiles.

"o-oh Fuck.. Fuck Derek please more! Holy fuck.." Stiles babbled desperately.

Derek rutted into him eagerly and as his thrusts became more powerful and desperate the bed creaked ominously. Stiles cried out passionately. His hands released the sheets to grip Derek's broad shoulders. His blunt nails scraping the skin as he struggled to keep himself grounded. Stiles whole body tensed and he screamed out Derek's name as his cum splattered onto Derek's - and his - abdomen. Derek's thrusts intensified. His claws came out and tore through Stiles sheets into his mattress. When Derek's body jerked to a grinding halt as he orgasmed; the ominous creaking of the bed became the grinding crack of splintering wood and the whole bed frame splintered.

As Stiles once more became aware of his surroundings he saw the broken wood and realized the mattress now rested on the floor. "You broke my bed."

"oops"

Stiles just finished loading up his jeep and hugged his father and Scott goodbye before turning to Derek, "so uh, I'll see you in a few months?"

Derek nodded and pulled him into a bone crushing hug, "I love you sourwolf" Stiles squeaked. He climbed into the jeep and drove off.

"I love you too" Derek whispered once the jeep was gone from sight.

 

_Derek felt his whole world fall apart around him when the time of death was announced in the operating room. His legs gave out beneath him and the sheriff just caught him, "Derek? Derek whats wrong?" Derek stared ahead, the voices around him a faint buzzing. A doctor came out and looked at the Sheriff sadly,_

_"I'm sorry.." he began._

_"No...No, no.." John Stilinski chanted._

_"We did everything we could. He's gone."_

 

_Only know you've been high when you're feeling low..._


	4. Only Hate the Road When You're Missing Home

_Only hate the road when you're missing home..._

 

Stiles had been away at school for two months now. His first midterms were coming up the following week and he was beginning to feel overwhelmed. Stiles felt the panic attack coming when he realized he had read the same sentence multiple times and didn't understand what was being said. His pulse quickened, his breath was coming in short bursts, vision began blurring and then he heard a skype call coming in. Stiles looked at the laptop screen and shakily answered when he saw the username he had assigned to Derek.

"Stiles breath, come on, with me now. Breath in....breathe out" Derek began once he saw the state his boyfriend was in. He repeated this until he could tell that Stiles was listening. He kept up with the exercise until Stiles' heart beat was normal again, "okay...so...whats up?"

Stiles shrugged apologetically, "midterms next week, I'm studying but I think I'm going to fail."

"You're the smartest person I know Stiles. You're constantly researching and studying everything you can get your hands on."

"I know but I'm getting marked on this and how well I do affects the rest of my life Derek! I can't afford to screw up!"

"Then think of it differently. You're not going to do well if you're freaking out Stiles."

"I know but-"

"this class is an alpha pack thats threatening us" Derek interrupted.

"Really? You're asking me to pretend that my course exam is a pack of killer werewolves?"

"Yes. And the information you need to find their weakness and exploit it is in your notes."

"I don't think thats going to work."

"You've got a vivid imagination Stiles. You can do it."

Stiles nodded and smiled at Derek, "thanks Sourwolf."

"Good luck Stilinski" Derek replied before hanging up.

Stiles turned back to his notes, "alright alpha werewolves. Lets see how you like the Stilinski brand of wolfsbane" he said before hunkering down.

 

"I'm done! I survived and I think I passed everything!" Stiles cheered over the phone.

"I knew you could do it Stiles" Derek said fondly.

"Yep, and I've got this week off."

"Are you coming home than?"

"I don't know...I think I should stay here, Beacon Hills sucks"

"Oh..." Derek replied, sounding disappointed. Derek got out of his SUV at his loft and turned to head into the building. He froze when he saw a very familiar and very blue jeep, and a certain, ungainly and spastic Stiles leaning against the blue monstrocity, "hey Sourwolf," he said into his phone before hanging up. Derek crossed the distance between them quickly. He pressed Stiles into the jeep and kissed him deeply, "I missed you" he growled.

"Me too Sourwolf~" Stiles breathed, smiling at him. Derek's claws came out and he tore Stiles' shirt right off of his torso. "Hey! Thats my favourite t-shirt you jerk!" Stiles complained.

"You're really going to complain?" Derek replied, kissing him hard and pressing his knee between Stiles' legs.

"Well...ahh no. I suppose not. As long as you keep going" Stiles conceded. After that he was naked and in the backseat of the SUV with no memory of how he had even gotten there. His mind was jumbled up due to the fiery waves of pleasure rushing through him and the hotter than hell Derek hale who was pistoning into him, into his very core with every thrust. They came together, their cries of pleasure mingling and becoming one. 

"I love you..." Stiles breathed as they basked in the afterglow. Derek smiled and kissed him long and deep.

 

_Derek's drive home had been a faint blur, he wasn't reallt aware of his actions and he had driven on autopilot. He now found himself standing in his loft, staring at the rumpled bed, seeing the clothes he had worn the previous day on the floor, staring at the spot Stiles always curled up in...His vision blurred and he realized he was crying. God, the last time he had cried had been so many years ago, the night of the fire. The night when his family was stolen from him, and now the love of his life was gone to. Dereks legs turned to jelly beneath him and he sank to the floor. Something soft that smelled of Stiles brushed his arm and he pulled the discarded sweater down, crushing it to his chest and sobbing into the material. He was all alone._

_Only know you love him when you let him go..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long to update! I know I said I'd have it up last monday but then I had 2 papers due and an exam this past week, but here it is!


	5. And you Let Him Go

_And you let him go…_

 

One Year Later

 

Derek walked into a bar at around 1 am. The music was loud, base thumping out of speakers, bodies weaving and pulsing with the music. It wasn’t really his scene but Derek was craving a drink and Scott was bartending tonight. Since Stiles’ death Derek and Scott had developed a deeper connection. It was the pain of their loss that brought them closer, and tonight, Derek wanted that.

 

Scott greeted him when he reached the bar and passed him a beer, “how you doing?” he asked, projecting his voice over the music. Derek shrugged and popped the lid off the bottle to take a long drag from the bottle. Scott sighed and leaned over, “I have someone I want you to meet.” Derek looked up sharply and shook his head. Scott disregarded the look and waved someone over.

“Hi, I’m Alexander” the newcomer greeted. Derek glowered at the hand presented to him. Where Stiles’ hands had a graceful elegance, Alex’s were normal and standard. His gaze travelled up the torso, the neck and cheeks that were devoid of the beauty marks Stiles’ had owned. It was his eyes that stopped Derek from shooting the male down. Alexander’s eyes were like molten gold, just like Stiles’ had been. “Derek” he finally replied, his voice rough as he stared at those eyes.

 

“This place is kind of loud” Alexander shouted over the music, his hand still clasping Derek’s. Without really reacting Derek allowed himself to be lead out into the street, “want to get a coffee?” Alex asked him.

 

“uhh…”

 

“Okay then…you’re a man of few words, I can work with that.” Alexander turned and lead Derek to…oh god, was that a…oh good. It was a blue car. Had it been a jeep Derek would have run for the hills. Once at the café Alexander had driven to, he ordered and paid for the both of them. “You didn’t say what you wanted so I got you a black coffee. If you don’t like that I’ll get you something else, I just thought it was something you…would like…god that seems like a stupid assumption doesn’t it? Jeez I don’t even know you. I have no idea what you like and…”

 

“It’s fine” Derek cut him off with practiced ease, “I do take my coffee black, thank you.” Alexander blinked in surprise. “What?” Derek asked a little defensively.

 

“oh um…just, normally I have to warn people that I tend to ramble and they are always too reserved to cut me off.”

 

“I’ve had practice.”

 

“Oh, right…your de- ahh, late boyfriend. Scott told me you were damaged…” Alex paused and his eyes widened in horror. “Oh shit. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…” Derek stood, tossed his coffee in the nearby trash bin and stormed out of the coffee shop.

 

Derek felt rage and grief welling up within him and he had to get out of there, like now. Once he was outside he took off into a run, wolfing out and relieved to be in the cover of darkness.

 

“Hey man! What happened last night? Alex called me freaking out. Apparently he said something stupid and you freaked and left.”

 

“Why the hell did you try and set me up with him anyway?” Derek growled. They were facing off in his loft. Over the year the place had become dusty and dark. Picture frames of him and Stiles were turned upside down. The place, other than that, was spotless and empty. Stiles was the one who had filled the place and made it home. Once he was gone, Derek couldn’t bear to look at the things Stiles had placed in the loft. He had gotten rid of it all.

 

“You need to start living again Derek. Stiles is dead! He died Derek but we’re still here. We’re still alive and Stiles wouldn’t want us to live in misery okay?” Scott took a deep breath and pushed his hair back, “I introduced you to Alex because I thought he’d be good for you. He’s cheerful, loud, talkative, all the exact opposite of you and I figured it would work. Yeah, he said something he shouldn’t have but he didn’t mean it. Alex doesn’t always think before he talks…”

 

“Get out” Derek snarled, eyes flashing.

 

“Derek, just give him another-“

 

“GET OUT!” Derek wolfed out completely and snarled warningly.

 

 

After his standoff with Scott Derek had gone to the graveyard and sat in front of Stiles gravestone. He leaned his back against the cool, smooth rock and closed his eyes. “Derek…” came an uncertain and nervous voice. Derek cracked his eyes open to glare at Alexander. “Sorry I…Scott said I’d find you here.” Alex walked up and sat in front of the grave marker, opposite of Derek, “I was also told that Stiles never cared for flowers so I brought one of my favourite comic books…” he placed it beside the grave. “Look…I’m really sorry about what I said at the coffee shop last night. I didn’t mean it and I definitely shouldn’t have said it.”

 

Derek looked up at Alex, at those eyes the same colour as Stiles’ and he found himself nodding, “okay.”

 

Alex brightened immediately, “can we go out for dinner? Tonight? My treat of course”

 

“alright, yeah.”

 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

Derek approached Stiles’ gravestone. It had been two months since we agreed to try out a relationship with Alex, also two months since he had visited Stiles out here. “Hey” he began, shuffling his feet nervously, “so, I tried this ‘thing’ out with Alex and its going well. Great actually. I… really like him Stiles.” Derek paused then, feeling tears sting his eyes, “shit…I was going to keep it together for this…” Derek took a deep breath, “we aren’t like...completely devoted, gonna be together forever kind of thing yet. But I’m happy Stiles. I miss you and I love you so goddamn much…but you’re gone.” Derek finally started crying, “I just want your blessing. I want to know if this is okay. I don’t know if I’m even allowed to feel like this and I’m so damn confused Stiles…” Derek felt this warmth fill him up, almost like a physical being wrapping around him. “Thank you” he breathed when he actually caught the slightest whiff of Stiles’ scent, or maybe that was his imagination. Once Derek regained composure he gave a little wave of farewell and walked back towards town.

 

_And you let him go…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the second last chapter! we're almost done this fic...

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first fanfic I've ever written, and while it may not be perfect, I worked hard on this one. Hope you like it!
> 
> Again, let me know if this is any good and based on comments I will edit and try to improve it! I can take constructive criticism however if you just plan on being cruel and unhelpful don't comment  
> thanks~


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